Do you go back and look at old pictures and think WOW, I completely forgot about that or look at them and see how much fun you were having?

I took  A LOT of photos for the longest time…trunk full of them…. and I still try to take them! It is important to take those pictures and remember what was going on at that time and who was there…..those pictures tell so many stories….who you were at the time, what was going on, how you were feeling…possibly even where you were headed in life. I was looking through my trunk the other day and just kept grinning from ear to ear remembering things I had forgotten! I came across pictures of my mom and me….those pictures becoming even more important to me now more than ever and being so grateful we took them…selfies or not, serious or joyful, bad or good…..I have them of her. One day she will be gone and a piece of me will die and I will be a touch broken forever without her, never completely the same. I will carry on, being myself, and having her within me but a little part of my heart will turn black and die. Someday I won’t get to pick up that phone and call her to tell her I hurt myself (I’m serious…stubbed toe? I call and complain about anything to her) One day I won’t get to go to lunch with her or sun in the pool with her or sit next to her in our chairs right at the ocean so that the waves hit our legs, with a drink in our hand, pressing our feet into the sand….and of course her with so much white sunblock on that she looks like Casper the ghost…so  much that everyone stares and I just die out laughing.

I see some women and even men being irritated with or mean or harsh with their parents. Yes even grown adults being harsh and I can’t hardly deal. I know parents aren’t perfect so I understand there may be issues there but talking down to your parents and treating them like they are dirt is insane to me. Yes they may have been a terrible parent and you can separate yourself from them but that doesn’t mean you have to treat them with meanness. Step up and treat them with kindness, forgive them if they did something wrong because no matter what…….they are your parents and they brought you into this world. You can separate yourself but also have compassion and spread God’s love to them. Talking down to your parents isn’t going to make the situation better or make you feel better in the long run. You are just destroying a relationship that might could be good because you are to proud. We all make mistakes so observe they made a mistake if they did and forgive and move on. The past is the past….look at the present moment and future.

I have always been close with my mom never yelling at her or saying anything mean…the most I have ever done was roll my eyes and huff….and I stopped rolling my eyes and huffing in junior high when she got me straight and told real quick…. you don’t play with my mama! She means business! I can spend every waking moment with her and she won’t bother me….probably because we are just a like but either way whether your parent is close to you or you have a bad relationship try to respect them and their decisions and who they are. They may be awesome or terrible but know they are humans as well and they crave love and respect just as much as you do.

My mom is having surgery on her spine this week in Nashville. She will eventually have more surgeries working their way down her spine but this is an extreme area and is very  important because it will paralyze her if we don’t get it fixed immediately…if she falls she could be paralyzed because it is so bad. The process has already started and I’m grateful they sent her on to get checked out. She has had a hard time…14 months ago she almost died and now we are looking at a very intense and hard surgery that isn’t the best for her heart…..we found her the best surgeon and the best hospital…. now we leave it in God’s hand from here. She’s a fighter so I know she will fight and survive the pain and do her best as usual but let me tell you something…….you know your parents will be older one day, in pain, in surgeries, and death at some point but until you get there you don’t quite understand. You let those petty things that you are to proud over get in the way, you let the irritation that your parents give you drive you insane so that you are harsh towards them….LET IT ALL GO. You never truly know how much longer you have with your parents or anyone else but when you may only have a week or so possibly with them let me tell you…..let me just tell you those petty things will fade and you will start to see clearly that none of the shit matters. I have nothing petty against my parents I have always seen clearly but I know there are so many people out there holding grudges and ruining what relationships that COULD have. Don’t look back and regret your actions, attitudes, and behavior simply because you let resentment, anger, pride, selfishness, or whatever else get in your way.

It’s a new day….a new way to look at life…a new start….change is hard but you can do it if you truly work on it. I hope you choose to change and let the rest of it all fade away.

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram I will post to update you on my mom. I hope you all have a great upcoming week!

XOXO

Rivers