Well it’s been a while….the end of the school year hit, an issue in my  business world, my mom had surgery and she is doing amazing. She still has a long road of work of head but doing just amazing! Anyways enough of that….You know what is on my mind…

Women and Competition

Yes I know men have the jealousy and the need to be the best but women are on a whole different level. My hairdresser (who is a man so take that in to consideration when reading this… you know he sees it all) and I were talking last month about women and how difficult it is for women who achieve, who are pretty, who are goal crushers, and that do things that are above average in their lives. It is hard for them. Why must women be so mean to these other women? Why must women feel inferior to other women? There is no superior or inferior in my world….we are just WHO WE ARE. YES some achieve more goals, YES some women are more beautiful, YES some women do not so average things but that doesn’t make them “better” or superior to anyone else.  THEN my friends he HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD……are you ready?!?!

WE TEACH OUR WOMEN IN OUR SOCIETY TO COMPETE AGAINST ONE ANOTHER

Think about it… DO MEN HAVE BEAUTY COMPETITIONS? Do men have to parade around on stage with people watching their every move to be judged and critiqued and then compared to the men around them? You are automatically taught I MUST BE BETTER THAN ALL THE WOMEN UP HERE TO WIN. I MUST be more beautiful, I MUST have a better talent, I MUST be the skinniest, I MUST talk the best, I MUST sound the most intelligent……and then if I WIN…. I AM SUPERIOR TO ALL OF THESE WOMEN! If you don’t win you become jealous, envious, and you do two things you begin to dislike the women who won, you begin to think negative things, and you most likely start to make comments about those women. Then after you didn’t win your confidence level goes down, you feel that you aren’t good enough, and that you can’t compare to any of those women.

Was I in beauty pageants? YES some I won, others I didn’t but let me tell you my mom did an amazing thing when she raised me SHE BUILT SO MUCH CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF that I NEVER questioned or compared myself to others and if there was a weak moment where I did I quickly snapped out of it and reminded myself WHO I WAS! IN FACT…the first year I didn’t place in the Top 5 after the pageant my mom asked me if I was okay and my response was……. Those judges are blind. I mean what is wrong with them. In that moment she knew I would be fine for the rest of my life. She was so proud and knew she had raised a confident women…..I didn’t question what wrong with me, my face, my body, my talent, the way I spoke and I never compared myself with the girls who won. I didn’t compare my dress, my shape, and so on….I simply said I AM BEAUTIFUL and those judges have lost their minds if they couldn’t see that and I moved right along. I moved along and sang MY song and no one else song. I HAVE NEVER and I MEAN NEVER seen myself in competition with another woman because let me tell you something: SOMEONE is always going to be PRETTIER than me, SOMEONE is always going to SPEAK better than me, SOMEONE is always going to more FIT or in SHAPE than me, SOMEONE is going to be more INTELLIGENT than me and so forth. THE THING IS…….

I JUST BE THE BEST ME I CAN BE!

I don’t run a race thinking I am going to win and crush the people beside me…..I run the race FOR MYSELF and my PERSONAL goal of completing and finishing and GIVING IT MY ALL! I don’t compete in a competition in order to beat the people beside me…though I must admit my husband crushes me at everything we do so in those rare occasions that I do beat him I take a little glory! I don’t set and achieve goals or do anything I do for anyone else BUT FOR ME! There is no competition against other women….we all are GREAT, we all can ACHIEVE whatever we want to achieve, we all have BEAUTIFUL qualities…..JUST  BE YOU…UNIQUELY YOU & let those unique qualities show.

You see my mom taught me something very important starting from a young age…I can do whatever I want and I am beautiful. I am beautiful in my own unique way..crooked nose, crooked tooth, whatever it is I AM BEAUTIFUL and IF I WORK HARD ENOUGH THEN I CAN DO WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO IN THIS LIFE. Those two things made ALL the difference….BECAUSE OF THOSE TWO THINGS I WAS NEVER ENVIOUS OF OTHER WOMEN..even when I was in a beauty competition I wasn’t competing with them. I competed with myself. AM I the BEST that I can BE right now? Then if I gave it my all I am completely happy and content with that! I am great because I was created by someone GREAT! I have weaknesses I know those but I don’t sit and sulk over those weaknesses or compare my weakness to others. We all have weak areas…I focus on my strengths!

Parents do me a favor and teach your daughter those two things when they are young! If you do I can promise you your daughter will worry only about herself and if she is the best she can be then she will be completely happy with herself and not compare herself to others. She will be confident and hold her head up high and KNOW that SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO COMPETE WITH OTHER WOMEN TO BE AMAZING IN THIS LIFE. IN FACT if she doesn’t compete and compare herself then she can focus on her goals more and achieve more of what she wants.

Be a GOAL CRUSHER,  Be BEAUTIFUL, Be LOUD, Be FIERCE, Be TOUGH, BE WHATEVER IN THE HELL YOU WANT TO BE but DON’T be jealous or envious of other women. YOU BE YOU and BE PROUD OF YOU! I can tell you that I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT want any other persons life or to be them. I am happy with who I am and my life because I know I give my life all I can give and make it what I want to make it. There is no need for me to look at others in envy because I DO MY LIFE the WAY I WANT IT and I encourage you to do the same. It is quite freeing to not be envious or jealous of others when you can just focus and be happy with yourself THEN you are talking about a whole different level of peace and happiness.

My challenge for you this month is to FOCUS on YOU and TELL yourself you ARE AMAZING and that there is no need to be in competition with other women. Celebrate those women around you and let TRUE peace and happiness fill your soul.

XOXO

Rivers